You’ve been carrying too much for too long – and not all of it is yours.
That quiet pressure to always show up strong.
The unspoken responsibility of managing everyone else’s emotions.
The weight of needing to prove you belong in rooms you already earned your way into.
Let’s name it for what it is:
Burnout isn’t just physical exhaustion. It’s an identity crisis disguised as “doing it all.”
As a high-performing Woman of Color, you’ve likely spent years over-functioning, over-giving, and holding it all together – not because you wanted to, but because you felt you had to.
But here’s the truth no one talks about enough:
Everything you carry isn’t yours to hold.
There’s the job description…and then there’s the real job.
Especially for Women of Color in leadership.
Beyond the deliverables and deadlines, you’re also:
- The unacknowledged culture keeper
- The unpaid emotional support for your team
- The bridge between inequitable systems and survival strategies
- The one who “makes it look easy” even when it’s breaking you inside
Sound familiar?
We’re taught to believe that strength means silence. That success means self-sacrifice.
But that narrative is not sustainable — and it’s not liberating.
You don’t have to abandon yourself to lead others.
So Let Me Ask You:
What are you holding that’s not yours?
- Old stories about what you have to prove?
- Roles that were assigned to you, not chosen by you?
- Expectations shaped by fear, not freedom?
Maybe you’re still carrying the need to be liked.
Or the guilt of saying no.
Or the belief that rest is laziness.
But the truth is:
You can release what no longer serves you — even if it once protected you.
A Gentle Invitation to Let Go
You don’t have to hold it all to be worthy.
You don’t have to stay in survival mode to be a good leader.
You don’t have to prove your power by carrying pain that isn’t yours.
Here’s what you do get to do:
- Reclaim your energy.
- Honor your limits.
- Choose softness without shame.
- Define leadership on your own terms.
That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.
That’s not quitting. That’s reclaiming.
That’s not selfish. That’s sustainable.
A Practice for This Week:
Take a few quiet moments and ask yourself:
“What’s one thing I’m ready to let go of this week?”
“What’s one thing I’m holding that doesn’t belong to me anymore?”
Write it down. Speak it out loud. Share it with someone you trust.
Or simply let the truth settle in your spirit.
And when you’re ready…
Let it go.
You deserve to feel free – not just functional.
You deserve to feel whole – not just helpful.
Ready to Come Home to Yourself?
This is the soul of my work: helping high-performing Women of Color lead from wholeness, not depletion.
Because you were never meant to carry it all.
It’s time to release the weight of burnout, expectations, and emotional labor.
If this resonates with you, I invite you to book a POWER HOUR: Identity Reclamation Session
Tell me what you’re ready to lay down this week.
You’ve carried enough. Now gift yourself the gift of feeling free.
VIDEO: What Are You Holding That’s Not Yours | Releasing the Weight of Burnout + Expectations
Nicki Sanders, MSW, is committed to career development, professional development, and organizational development. As Founder and CEO of Nicki Sanders Leadership Consulting, her mission is simple – to eliminate toxic workplaces by developing skilled, empathetic, and goal-oriented leaders who have the vision, support, and resources to create a culture where business prospers, and employees thrive individually and collectively. Nicki has an extensive background in nonprofit management leading high-functioning, multi-disciplinary teams, volunteer recruitment and retention, and social impact programming. She is a thought leader dedicated to dismantling the outdated, narrow view of social work and an accomplished professor, coach, trainer, and group facilitator who has combined her gift for authentic relationships, Master of Social Work degree, and over 20 years of diverse work experience to create a life and career aligned with her values and purpose. She is a lover of nature, cupcakes, travel, and 80’s hip hop and R&B music.
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