If you spent your teen years like the average teenager, trying desperately to exercise your independence and separate yourself from your parents/families you may not understand why a 17 or 18 year old in foster care may want to be adopted. If the primary goals for you or your friends as teenagers were to obtain a driver’s license, secure a later curfew, make your own money, and seize the opportunity to make your own decisions you may not understand why I advocate for additional support for teens who are aging out of foster care. Many people believe that teens in foster care are set in their ways and unable to change or that they don’t like boundaries or can’t follow rules but I beg to differ. Despite past challenges, disappointments, and displacements, teens in foster care want what we all want – to be loved, protected, and appreciated – they want to belong.
Every year approximately 20,000 young people “age out” of foster care at 18 without a permanent family. Some states now allow youth to remain in care until age 21 but young people who age out of foster care are at higher risk of low academic achievement, homelessness, unemployment, violence, and imprisonment. The constant disruptions that young people experience when they spend years in foster care make it difficult to acquire the skills needed to have a successful adulthood. When young people don’t receive consistent nurturing, training, and supervision they often lack basic life skills. What may seem like trivial tasks to you can be huge feats for young people who grow up in group homes or are constantly shuffled from place to place. Consider that most of us learned how to schedule a doctor’s appointment and speak candidly to our doctor from our parents. An older sibling, cousin, or parent may have taught us how to dress for a job interview and open a bank account so we could save a portion of our first pay check. Growing up in a stable family provides the opportunity to learn to do simple things like how to grocery shop and prepare a nutritious meal. Everyone deserves a family.
We all need security and stability, love and positive connections, and opportunities to grow and develop into our full potential. We are more likely to have these needs met when we are a part of a family unit. Older teens who are adopted from foster care can and do thrive. Yes, we do want you to adopt a teen from foster care. It is never too late to become a part of a family. Young lives are depending on it.
Nicki Sanders, MSW, Chief Visionary Officer
The Teen Toolbox provides youth portfolio development and civic engagement and academic enrichment opportunities to help teens set goals for life after high school and create a road map to reach those goals through its PACKAGED FOR SUCCESS™ Programs.