Give Yourself Permission to Fall Out of Love with Your Dream Job


Months before I submitted my resignation, I arrived at my dream job late and sat in my car on the parking lot for over 2 hours because I couldn’t force myself to get out of the car and go in and start working! After a decade, my dream job was no longer perfect for me. I’m shocked and horrified when I think that I stayed long enough for things to get that bad.

Those who know me know one of the things you will hear me say regularly is, “I don’t have time for foolishness”. Yet, sitting in my car for two hours is straight foolishness! FOOLISHNESS! Why didn’t I resign sooner?

Although I felt overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated, I was also emotionally attached. Career and Life Coaches discourage staying in toxic work environments simply because you’re earning a good salary or be afraid of the unknown, but very few talk about being emotionally attached to your job. That was my career story, and it is not unique. Although we don’t always admit it, many smart, talented, experienced professionals find themselves in a similar situation.

As we continue in this next episode of “Do as I say, not as I did”, let’s talk resignation.

Another way to be certain that you are emotionally attached to a job is if you give 6 weeks notice.

Yes, I did! I really did.

Two weeks is standard. Three to four weeks is a bonus. But six weeks…

I disguised this decision by calling it dedication. It seemed completely normal and logical that I didn’t want to:

  • Leave work for anyone else to complete
  • Not be available to close out the school year and the fiscal year
  • Not give my team enough time to accept the transition
  • Not tie up all the loose ends of 11 years of work
  • And all the other ridiculous excuses that protected my emotional attachment…

On the flip side, my subconscious was also at work because I had already cleared every picture from my office, started delegating more, began documenting more processes, and taken two full days to clean and organize my entire office (including a full day of shredding) before submitting my resignation.

None of that was planned. I just started to do these things without realizing it. One day I walked in and could not “get to work” until I completed an entire office purge – literally could not focus.

Tip #1: Don’t ignore the signals your body gives you.

Tip #2: Give yourself permission to fall out of love with your dream job!

You have the right to change, grow, and develop. Your loyalty should be to your professional development and career advancement – not a job that is no longer serving your needs. Jobs will always come and go, but your career should always be your priority.

  • Have you fallen out of love with the job you hoped, wished, and prayed for?
  • Is your perfect job no longer perfect at this stage in your life?
  • Are you ready to eliminate the unhealthy emotional attachment to your job?

If you’re unsure how to emotionally detach from a job that no longer serves your personal or professional needs, a Career Activation Strategy Session is a great way to get support and accountability.  You deserve customized strategies to meet your individual career goals and desires.

Nicki Sanders, MSW, CEO, is a travel and cupcake lover with an aptitude for authentic connection and career design. She has an extensive background in developing and managing successful programs and leading high-functioning multi-disciplinary teams. She is an accomplished professor, coach, trainer, and group facilitator who has merged her Master of Social Work degree and over 20 years of diverse work experience into a thriving business.  Nicki Sanders Leadership Consulting helps businesses recruit and retain the best employees and helps women in mid-level management design the careers of their dreams.

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