I Am Angry and Sad, but Not Surprised!



After another senseless mass murder yesterday, I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to write or post today. I am SAD and ANGRY, but unfortunately, I am not surprised.

I’m literally exhausted – mentally and emotionally drained from the constant trauma of being Black, being a woman, being an empath, and being a human being who believes we all deserve justice, equality, and humanity. This state we are in is disgusting!

I won’t ask how many more people have to die before changes happen because I know the answer and it is sickening. The wealthy elite is funding opportunistic, cowardly, selfish politicians who consistently put their best interests above our collective good. And that goes way beyond the refusal to pass logical gun control.

Where are the “pro-life”, and “all lives matter” folks today? Sending thoughts and prayers?

School kids, grandparents, joggers – no one is safe!

Active shooter drills in classrooms and workplaces shouldn’t be normalized.

Banning books in school and then adding trigger-happy adults seems logical to some people.

Women are more than embryo hosts. I wonder how many of these pro-life hypocrites have mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, and mistresses who have had secret abortions? Had secret abortions themselves or paid for their son’s girlfriend to get an abortion because they didn’t want to ruin his future?

Lies, threats, condemnation, denial of birth control, and omission of factual reproductive health information don’t prevent pregnancies, but they sure contribute to the numbers of shot-gun weddings, girls who unexpectedly go visit their grandma for the summer, and sexually transmitted infections.

NEWSFLASH: Babies need care and support after they leave their mother’s womb.

NEWSFLASH 2: Every woman cannot breastfeed and there are a variety of reasons why. And weren’t y’all just complaining about women breastfeeding in public last month? And don’t get me started on the baby formula industry.

Gun-toting maniacs have killed way more children in schools than masks ever will.

Over-policing in minority and lower-income communities, racism, and poverty create a false narrative that tells the world that Black and Brown kids are thugs and gangbangers who deserve adult prison sentences and White school shooters are misunderstood kids with unaddressed mental health issues.

Schools in the inner city have security, police, and metal detectors. Some of these babies have PTSD from living in urban war zones. And yes, I called them babies.

I remember the crack epidemic. It wasn’t at all like the opioid crisis.

White supremacy is the foundation of America. Racism is woven into the fabric of this country.

When your grandparents and great-grandparents did things that were so horrific that you don’t want your children and grandchildren to know the truth about it, there is a problem.

I could go on and on but I will stop here because I have benefited from this thought release.  I’ve also avoided the news today.

We’ve witnessed collective tragedy after collective tragedy – in addition to our own life circumstances.

Self-preservation Isn’t Selfish!

I encourage you to do whatever you need to do to release the heaviness of life.

May is still Mental Health Awareness Month!

** IMPORTANT NOTE: My opinions and thoughts are my own and I am entitled to them. I’m not interested in religious, moral, or constitutional arguments. I won’t even engage because I have nothing to prove to anyone nor am I seeking any validation.



Nicki Sanders, MSW, ushers high-performing women of color in mid-level social work and human services leadership through promotion to senior leadership. As Founder and CEO of Nicki Sanders Leadership Consulting, her mission is simple – to eliminate toxic workplaces by developing skilled, empathetic, and goal-oriented leaders who have the vision, support, and resources to create a culture where business prospers, and employees thrive individually and collectively. Nicki has an extensive background in nonprofit management leading high-functioning, multi-disciplinary teams. She is an accomplished professor, coach, trainer, and group facilitator who has combined her gift for authentic relationships, Master of Social Work degree, and over 20 years of diverse work experience to create a life and career aligned with her values and purpose. Nicki is a lover of cupcakes, travel, and 80’s hip hop and R&B music.


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