Years ago I was employed as a Family Support Worker in a community-based organization in a section of the city with the highest poverty, teen pregnancy, HIV/STI, drop out, and unemployment rates. Before each family received services I was required to do a home visit. Some of my clients were teen parents and others were grandparents raising their grandkids. Some were involved with child welfare and others were at risk of homelessness due to health conditions. Despite the background or situation of any of my clients, every home visit started the same way.
1. Ring doorbell or knock on door
2. Greet person who comes to door and introduce myself
3. Wait to be invited to come inside or ask if I can enter
4. Wait to be invited to sit down
You would be annoyed if you opened your front door for the pizza delivery guy and he walked straight into your kitchen, right? I never entered a home without being invited to come in either. I waited for an invitation not only as a safety precaution but to show respect. Degrees, job descriptions, and case files don’t build strong working relationships. I believe all relationships should be built on the foundation of respect. Everyone wants and deserves to be respected.
I’ve never met a teen who asked to be placed in the foster care system. Even if they did, they would have no control over which social worker or case worker they would be “assigned” to or where they would be assigned to live. What teens do have is control over who they let into their lives in an intimate or meaningful way, however. We all want what’s best for the child right? Of course we do, so don’t push, pull, threaten, or nag them to get them to open up to you or let you in to their lives. You are their guest and you must earn that right. The words of wisdom I want to share with you today are “wait for teens to invite you in”.
Nicki Sanders, MSW, Chief Visionary Officer
The Teen Toolbox utilizes youth portfolio development and civic engagement and academic empowerment strategies to help teens set goals for life after high school and create a road map to reach those goals through its PACKAGED FOR SUCCESS™ Programs. We are committed to supporting and raising awareness about the needs and potential of teenagers in the foster care system.
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