No, I’m Not An Ambivert



We are all born with an innate temperament which is the way that we gain energy and prefer to interact with the world. An extrovert is someone who has a personality type that is social and outgoing. An introvert is often thought of as a shy, quiet, reserved, and thoughtful individual. An ambivert is a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features – and that’s not me.

There are many people who are neither strongly extroverted nor strongly introverted, but I am not one of them. I teach, train, and facilitate workshops. I host groups and go live on social media weekly, but I’m not an extroverted introvert. Although I can exhibit extrovert traits when needed, I am an introvert. Introverts are not all the same. I am someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments and tends to feel drained after socializing. I never talk just to hear myself talk. I regain my energy by spending quiet time alone. I am not shy, but I also don’t seek out attention. As a teenager I would say, “I’m not shy, I’m observant”. Today you may hear me say that I am a “thinker”, which is also true.

Who are you at your core? Even before the pandemic lockdown:

  • I’d rather stay home most nights than go out to one social event after another.
  • I enjoy quiet, solitary activities like reading and writing.
  • I process my emotions, thoughts, and observations internally.
  • I will always choose the company of a few close friends over a crowded party.
  • I work well with others, but I do my best work alone.
  • I avoid small talk and unnecessary social interactions.

None of these preferences make me rude or anti-social. There is nothing wrong with me. I am very self-aware and I know what I need to succeed. Although some people may incorrectly believe that I do not have an opinion or lack confidence because I don’t jump into things without thinking, I do not need to be fixed. I am an introvert. I could not do what I do with confidence and excellence if I did not honor who I am.

I’ve heard that Abraham, Eleanor Roosevelt, Barack Obama, and Barbara Walters are also introverts.

Are you comfortable navigating your world with authenticity?

Career Tip: Honor authentic yourself and success will find you


Nicki Sanders, MSW, CEO, is a Career and Empowerment Strategist who helps high-performing women of color in management go from overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated to energized, well paid, and appreciated. Through Nicki Sanders Leadership Consulting, she also helps businesses recruit, hire, train, and retain great employees. Nicki has an extensive background in developing and managing successful programs and leading high-functioning multi-disciplinary teams. She is an accomplished professor, coach, trainer, and group facilitator who has combined her gift for authentic relationships, Master of Social Work degree, and over 20 years of diverse work experience to create a life she loves. Nicki is a lover of cupcakes, travel, and 80’s hip hop and R&B music.

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